The Fleeting Moments that Last

I can still feel the way Mistress snuggles up to me as I nibble on her neck. I can still taste her lips pressed against mine….

And it was all to sort as I watched Mistress’ subway continue uptown.

Silence is Golden-or is it?

Things with Mistress are in a pretty good spot right now, maybe I don’t want to jinx it. Things in my personal life are a mess right now, maybe I am too overwhelmed.

Or maybe silence is golden-and I am trying to be rich.

About Frustration

So earlier today (and might I add its been a long day here on the west coast) I blogged about frustration as it pertained to relationship issues with Mistress.

Now, there is a new kind of frustration…

Something to Think About

So as a dust-up between Mistress and I came to an end last week, she posed the question both in her blog and to me on the phone

Why is it we tend to hurt the ones we love most?

I think my boy and I do it and I don’t know why.

The Rewind Button

I have been thinking that life could be so much better with a rewind button. And I don’t want to be greedy with this mind you. I would love to rewind all the way back to the last game in the baseball season of my junior year in high school.

Now that’s not to say its all be shit since then mind you. Just if I could rewind, I would probably not hang in on the play and my knee would not have gotten blown out.

But I digress. The rewind button I am looking for would be to go back say 5 minutes at a time and try a moment again. There are a bunch of those as well.

Is it really alright?

Its been a week of dealing with things that I really can’t control–which is very frustrating to me–because the stakes are so high. And maybe some of this is just misplaced self pity.

But still, I have to wonder, is it really alright?

Asked and Answered

Sometimes its nice to hear someone else ask the questions–and get the context of the answers.

Freedom

Mistress and I were talking the other night about freedom-and how much we control our lives, and our destiny or in my case how little control I have.

Now this all started out with some introspection on Mistress’ part. She is taking stock of herself-and feeling the pressure of building a career.

But for me the e exercise at midnight with a bottle of wine on a stoop in Queens was interesting. By all counts-I have a good career, am in a good spot-and have no control over my life or my destiny.

Amazing huh?

And after spending a good part of today running through it all-I am not sure when or how I can get that control back.

A Glass Half Full Outlook

So instead of stealing away for a dinner once or twice a week–Mistress and I are now able to steal away for a cup of coffee or lunch every now and then. We still have our weekly night-which we try to makespecial. But the time together is not what it once was.

Obviously this is not super-ideal. Mistress has blogged about this calling it “the trade off.”

Disclosure….

Just a random thought this morning….when you do full disclosure who is there to be the judge? If you promise to be an open book and share is there a threshold for the totality? Or is that the elusive mutual trust?