Holidays, Resolutions-and what we can do

Sometimes life is ironic, and sometimes irony just kind of finds you–and in my case, I think I look for irony.

Because nothing is ever simple and straightforward for me in my relationship with Mistress–Thanksgiving she ended up being alone as I at sort of the last-minute ended up with a packed car making a three-hour drive to a cousin’s house–kind of my inability to say no to my mom.

This Christmas holiday I am bouncing between my house and the hospitals as I try to keep the spirits of my kids up while their mom is hospitalized.  This morning at the hospital came a whole situation where the girls watched their mother refuse treatment in a very weird manner.  And here I am alone with the girls, trying to work them through it.  Understanding what its like to be alone for the holiday.

Mistress headed out to PA to be with the family of a friend, and I don’t begrudge her because while I am here with the girls, when she is alone, she is alone.

During our last fight, in an almost taunting way, Mistress told me, “And I have a date for New Year’s Eve.”  And again I don’t begrudge her that (and as it turns out Mistress and I will end up being together in some sort of strange setting for New Year) but sometimes lonely takes on many faces-and it’s not one size fits all.

Alone and together with an Yin and Yang–holidays are an interesting time of year.