Its Supposed to be Fun

Over the weekend, Mistress and I went to a couples play-party in update NY. I won’t go into details as to where and what the group was because I want to respect the privacy of the group and the hosts of the weekend–but I did have a D/s ephiphany of sorts–its supposed to be fun.

An Night in Fetish Land

Mistress and I ventured out to Paddles over the weekend–for our monthly agreed upon fet-night and some time together where we can both do something we enjoy.  I have to admit, from the trepidation the first time Mistress and I went to Paddles to last night my perspective has changed–and I now look forward to going (wish it were less than a $25/pp cover but that is a different story).

The night @ Paddles started out strangely–and kind of kept that theme going straight through.

Mistress likes to get there early so she can camp out in her favorite spot, so we left her place and got to Paddles around 915–the problem was that doors open at 10.  So, we had some time to kill.  Generally in NYC not a huge problem except Mistress was wearing her Prada’s and really could not do much NYC walking.  So, I went up 26th St. and got Mistress a nice salad from .Chipolte

Man does that smell.  It was torture sitting in the car with Mistress eating that salad.  So chipolte became the running joke for a safe word for the night.  A quick word about safe words–I have never used a safe word, and I truly believe at this point with Mistress its not really needed. I think she is so attuned to our dynamic she would know just how far to push.

Inside, Mistress and I ran into a friend and we spent some time catching up.  Then came some play.  Mistress was feeling a bit punchy I guess–because with my hands shackled over my head, Mistress spent more time spanking and punching then she did flogging and whipping–this is not to say there was none of that.  Special attention was paid to breast torture–which meant Mistress was in front of me most of the time–so we got some intimate time in.

For anyone watching, it must have seemed strange–Mistress and I enjoy play time, and tend to laugh and giggle a lot.  Not what anyone who watches D/s porn would expect to see.

It was also a slave auction night or something like it in Paddles–I am sure the event is generally better than what was displayed Saturday night (at least I hope it is).

I guess each person or couple who came in got some Paddles money–and at some point Goddess Lana ran an auction.  Subs (and some dom/mes) signed up.  Mistress threatend to put me up for auction–but then a Domme I had an on-line aquaintance with that ended badly showed up and Mistress cancled that plan.

So, Mistress had our Paddles money and did her thing during the auction. When she won someone, she went to go pay–and was talked into putting herself up for auction–with our Paddles money in hand.  Now everyone got $1.16M Paddles dollars on entry, and Mistress had just spent $8k on someone. So, I had no money in hand, and started bidding on Mistress-then came the $1.16M bid-what could I do, I was done.

So Mistress was bought by one sub, and had mercy bought two others–so they were on the floor in the back as I watched things unfold.  One was a little lost (best description I can come up with) and Mistress ended up releasing him–just could not follow even the simplest of orders.

The other two seemed more experienced, and Mistress did some whipping and flogging.

The one thing Mistress didn’t get to do was show off her signature whip flick–so we camped out on a couch for a bit and waited for the main stage at Paddles to open–except there was a fem-sub up there, with her owner working her over pretty good–an hour or so later–Mistress and I had spent a lot of quality cuddle time on the couch instead.

Fet Night Part Deux

So last night Mistress and I kept up our mutual promise to keep the kink in our relationship alive by doing our second fet night.  For those who need a little reminder, Mistress and I committed to setting time aside at least monthly to feed our fetish side–and be able to be straight up Mistress/slave (and less BF/GF) at least for a few hours.

And a fun night it was indeed.

I arrived at Mistress’ place around eight, and she was dressed for the part–easily I fell to my knees and worshipped Mistress’ ass as she stood before me in a tight black top, stockings and her Prada boots.  After some quality worship time it was off to Paddles.

it was a TES night at Paddles last night–some kind of Mardi Gras party–I didn’t quite get the difference in the night other than Goddess Coko walking around handing out beads (which was incredibly nice and both Mistress and I have plenty.

We got there at the tail end of a TES (I think) spanking discussion group.  Mistress and I sat down for the end of that. Not sure overall what to think of the event, but like most of the scene type events I have gone to it seemed OK.  What Mistress will likely admit was a huge coupe for her for the night, after the session ended, someone (I think a switch) who was at the seminar came to Mistress and introduced herself as a regular reader of Mistress’ blog.

The night had lot of fits and starts…first Mistress and I did a very playful scene on the rack bed in Paddles.  Mistress had my hands up over my head (stretched out my back nicely) and we did some tickling and some bastinado foot bondage. This was a first for me.  During this, while some pain was inflicted, Mistress was very sensuous, and we laughed a lot.

Mistress would later make up for that–as I spent a solid 45 minutes over the whipping post.  Mistress can really dish during these times–and I am determined to not just take what Mistress administers, but to do so with the thought that I cam pleasing my Mistress.

This was an interesting session as well–because by this time, along with the Mardis Gras crew there was an additional group of TES newbies in the place–so there was quite the crowd, and quite the crowd who had never seen a beating like Mistress can administer.

Have I ever mentioned Mistress is always one to play to a crowd?

So, as soon as there was a nice gathering, she unfurled her signature Catwoman whip throw to the ooohs and ahhs of the audience.  Along the way there was a lot of questions and Mistress (as she is apt to do) spent time answering others on technique and product.

I ended up with a nice hot ass, some marks on my back, and Mistress says a little blood was spilled.

Perhaps one of the moments right after though was truly a cap on the night. A couple of members from the newbie group came up to chit-chat.  Now I just spent 45 minutes over the whipping post, was a little dehydrated and was kind of coming out of my little sub-space. And the reality is some of the questions were pretty dumb.  So I didn’t say anything.

One of the newbies asked if I was allowed to speak–I did manage not to say, “Yeah. Just don’t see the need to speak with you.” Just keeping it real yo.

Mistress and I spent some time at the Paddles bar area–commenting on some of the folks we saw and scenes that played out–and yes Mistress there are others who like to show off all the moves–

Then tired, in love and feeling good it was off to bed to hold my Mistress’ naked body against mine.

Loving fet nights, and loving my Mistress.

Keeping Focus Where it Should Be

After a 2-3 week search, Mistress is back in the workforce as of today.  Given the hard reality of the economic climate nationwide, and especially here in NYC-its a pretty nice testament to her that she was able to find a new job relatively quickly.

Who knows if this will be the right opportunity for her, but its so much easier to be in a position and keep an eye out than to be under the feeling of desperation.

And I know for her it was not an easy couple of weeks. There was a lot of pressure-some real, some self imposed, some inadvertently added by me…but through it all I tried to keep Mistress focused on the bigger picture, the task at hand.

Sometimes it was helping with resume writing and reviewing cover letters. Other times it was doing a scan for jobs or companies that would be a good fit for her. Other times it was just being there to hear her and assure her that this was not the end, and tomorrow is a new day.

I am so proud that Mistress got through all of this, that we got through all of this-and today starts a new chapter.  And this is not the D/s part of our relationship.  This is the BF/GF part and this is the part where we can be best friends too…where we can rely on one another for help and support.

Its not nearly as good as reading about a night at Paddles, or being taken by Mistress, or holding her for the night while our naked bodies are pressed to one another–but for us its just as important.

Good luck Mistress, I love you.

Back in the Saddle Again

Oh what a night.

And I am not really sure why I am making arcane song references other than I feel really good about the night Mistress and I had last night.  I think it may have been what we both needed to “clear our heads” some of the issues and kind of go back to basics of our relationship.

As I mentioned yesterday (at my suggestion), Mistress and I began instituting a ‘fetish night” into our relationship.  Its a chance to step out of GF/BF and just be Mistress and sub.

So, all through the day, Mistress would taunt me text messages to be ready. I was told to be on highest of protocol and arrive at Mistress’ house fully cleaned inside and out.  This would mean I could expect some anal play.  As I was heading to Mistress’ house she further taunted me by telling me she had some stuff in mind.

When I arrived, Mistress was stunning (she always is, but last night in particular), with her leather corset, leather panties, black sheer stockings and prada boots.  I stopped the drool long enough to bow before her and present her the roses I bought for her and the hair spray she instructed me to arrive with.

After some greetings and boot worship, Mistress had me get  a towel out and assume a doggie position to “remind me who the bitch is” in our relationship.  This was a prolonged anal session that included my taking her cock in my ass, and stretching me out.  One of the nice things about how Mistress and I can play is that its not necessarily what you would call straight forward.  For some reason, I found it kind of funny that as  Mistress would push her cock into me, I could not keep my balance.  Deeper went the cock, and the further forward I would go.

I can tell you, my ass is still hurting on the inside from this.

After a clean up, it was off to Paddles.  I was carrying Mistress’ bag of canes and floggers and a second bag.  In that was my collar and leash, some sections of rope, a whip and Mistress’ still with tags on London Tanners collection.

I could only guess what was in store.

Upon arrival at Paddles Mistress staked out her favorite place–a throne in a corner of one of the side rooms.  There we spent some time chatting, some cuddling as Mistress let me hold her in her corset and just bask in her presence.  There was a small following of subbies around–Mistress kind of likes the attention, so its OK.

After a cup of coffee, it was time to get down to business.

Out came the London Tanners tools, down went my pants and over a spanking bench I went.  Admittedly, I am not much of a public player-but this was for Mistress and for us so eagerly I awaited what was coming.

So, here is where I have to admit perhaps I finally found my way to sub-space (or at least my little version of it).  I can’t really tell you what order the implements were used. I know the Rats Tail was in the middle and the Tawse (I think) was last.

The way the bench and the mirror was lined up, I really could not see what was coming at me. I could only see the crowd that had gathered.  And in what was an incredibly weird event during all of this, one of the would be males who was asking Mistress to serve her was doing a play by play and color commentary.

I am not sure how long all of this went on-I think north of 20 minutes though, and I have the bruises outside my ass to prove it (combined with the fucking I got last night my ass really hurts).  The full arsenal though was unloaded.  And yes, the Rats Tail still hurts like a MoFo.

Mistress is great during this though-she has just the right read of my mood, and knows when I can use a little kiss, or a whisper of encouragement.  One thing I can say, it was incredibly easy to concentrate on Mistress even with a swelling crowd and the chatter going on.

Then out came the whip.  Now I know Mistress has been working on her catwoman throw, and with the audience, I was kind of expecting it–although not necessarily while I was on the spanking bench.  But with her usual skill, the whip began kissing my skin.  Again, I could not see immediately behind me but go abut :40 in on this, and you can see the throw–

Mistress says she did 4 of them–my back has the bruises to prove that.

Then out came the cane. Mistress likes to mark my ass, as a not so gentle reminder of who it belongs to, and a constant reminder to me of her presence in my life.

Again, as the lashes came I could here the gasps of some of the audience-they must have been hard. I know they hurt.  Then came  a newer touch-the rapid fire caning.  Easily 15-20 lashes in rapid fire over a 30-45 second period, focused in a single spot.  That drove me right into the mirror in front of me, but I kept my ass out for Mistress to manipulate.

After a quick drink and snack at the bar and a tour around Paddles we went back into the side room.  There a Domme in training was working on a tranny slaves ass and a couple of other scenes were being played out.  While Mistress was talking to a tranny Top friend of hers, I watched a not-so elegant flogging session and a Mistress kicking her subs balls.

The tranny Top and bottom were an interesting couple, as I like to say the nice thing about the scene is there is room for everyone.

I think things went well, because back at Mistress’ we easily fell naked into one-anothers arms for what was the perfect ending to a great night out.

Thank you Mistress for having me, for putting up with me and for loving me.

The end of a great weekend

So, as this Sunday winds down, I have to admit I can look back at the weekend and feel really good about it–and truly smile.  And two keys that are not lost on me is that: 1) most of it was spent with my Mistress whom I truly love and cherish and 2) it was spent at “open” D/s events; something a year ago I would have hyperventilated at.

It started Friday night when Mistress gave a presentation on D/s dating for DSF. It was great to be there to support Mistress, spend time with some friends and to take in the Paddles experience in a different way than the first time I went there with Mistress.

Last night Mistress and I went to what has become a really great gathering of scene people in a non-scene setting–where we can just as easily talk about hockey, strat-o-matic baseball or being whipped and beaten.

Because of work the MTA is doing on the subways system in NYC, and the really bad weather in NYC last night, Mistress and I decided to drive into the city–even being lost in Queens, and part of western Brooklyn were not so bad. We had a good time in the car chatting (even when I was going thw wrong way on a one-way street), the time went by all too fast.

And there is nothing better than waking up with my Mistress in my arms.

Not lost on me-a year later, I am at ease able to talk to people (ok, they are scene people) about being kinky–and being out and about.

I do love my Mistress.

On potty training

And no, I am not going to get into a toilet fetish thing.

I am talking about manners, courtesy and what a camp counselor too many years ago elegantly put as wiping your own ass.

Last night Mistress was the guest speaker at a DSF event in NYC.  Her subject was D/s dating-something Mistress and I have been working on for the last year, and for the most part do pretty well.  The turn out at Paddles was pretty good for Mistress’ event.

(If I can take a moment, Mistress-You did such a great job presenting this subject. Clearly it is something near and dear to you. I am so proud of the way you handled the topic, worked the audience and engaged in an informative discussion).

The room was pretty packed and the crowd engaged. I was sitting off to the side with Mistress Veronica.  One of the key points Mistress made–and personally I thought it was kind of straight forward (but I am so wrong on this) is that courtesy and manners matter.

The comments this elicted from the crowd were interesting (and I am also talking about the silence that ensued before the audience was prompted).

What was interesting to me was the specifics Mistress laid out should not be a shock to anyone who has been potty trained–She is talking about holding doors open, being a good (and active listener), being chivalroous.

After the event Mistress Veronica, Mistress, another submale and I went to a local bar for a drink, and walking from Paddles to the bar we talked about this-and I guess my thought that this is basic human stuff–not D/s stuff is giving too much credit.

And, I get it–not everyone is looking for a relationship. There are peope who just want to session or play.  But the people in the room last night sounded like they were looking for a relationship, but did not sound like they knew how to sustain one.  There was a large dose of the trap Mistress likes to spring on people–the objectification of Dommes–and these guys stumbled in without being too set up.

But it seemed that the concept of just being a good partner was lacking–and that to me is amazing if your stated goal is to find a relationship, and I don’t mean a D/s relationship-I am talking about human intereraction.

When you walk into a store or a building-do you hold the door open for someone walking out, or the next person walking in? When you are out with someone (partner, friend, associate) do you actually look them in the eye and listen t them-and engage in active conversation? Do you help a female you are out with on or off wiht their jacket?

Its not rocket science here–its simply put, wiping your own ass.

Sometimes, a Lesson is Learned…

So, i have to admit, today netted out as a really good day. Want to why? It was a VM i got from my Mistress. It meant the world to me-because i think it shows that i have become a different person, and i have Her to thank for it.

Along with working wiht me on my diet and exercise, Mistress has really tried to put me in touch with my feelings, and share them and express them. And there are numerous ways Mistress has done this. Through probing questions, long conversations and also by “encouraging” me to take a moment and recognize things. (and i should make sure i clarify in this case encouraging does not only mean at the business end of a whip or cane).

So, today was Mistress’ first day at a new office. One of the areas i have been helping to push Mistress is on the career side. And yes, i did just say that i have been pushing my Mistress. We have a relationship-and we each bring pieces to that relationship that makes it vibrant. In this case, i know something about management, business communication and corporations–so i help my Mistress just as She has helped me.

Knowing that today was to be Her first day at the office, i had a nice flower arrangement sent with a card that offered her my congratulations on this step. I am serious when i say, this is not something i would have done for anyone a year ago. Perhaps i would have sent an email or text-but there is no way i would have taken the extra step and ordered the flowers and made sure that She felt special on Her day.

But i want to do this for my Mistress. Not only because its important to Her. Because its important for me to show Her that She has the support to succeed. And it was important for this to be a surprise.

Even though Mistress and i spent Saturday night together and had a great time i managed not to ruin the surprise.

Admittedly, i was a little nervous today. The thought in the back of my head is that the flowers don’t arrive, or i got the address wrong.  Slowly the day ticks by (and remember my day starts at 430 in the gym) and i don’t hear from Mistress. Then suddenly i get a call from Her at about 130.

That of an in itself is rare. Both Mistress and i are at work, and our normal communication is text or twitter-so a phone call is usually reserved for something big. And to be honest i did not think of the flowers, instead i was thinking about what could have happened. So i texted Mistress and told Her that i would call Her back when the call i was on was over. “Not a problem,” was Her response.

So my call ends, and i dial into my VM–and there it was, a big thank you for the flowers.

Yes. Score.

A lesson learned.

Thriving and Surviving….

Well, trip one to Paddles complete.  The net score: love my Mistress; i think i did more than just survive; had some fun; would do it again.

Probably the best place for me to start the detail is to first offer my deepest thanks to my Mistress, Maitresse Scarlette Stangata. i think i am incredibly lucky to be able to say i love Her.  Realistically, going to Paddles was to please my Mistress (its just not something i would do if left to my own devices). And to be honest the biggest concern i had was would i let Mistress down? Would i embarass Her? Would She not be proud of me?

i think (and believe me i asked several times) i succeeded.

The evening started at Mistress’ apartment. As i got to the door, Mistress swung it open, greeting me in Her patent Prada boots, super short skirt, string of faux pearls around Her neck and a tight top that showed off Her magnificent cleavage.  i have to admit, all i have been thinking about since monday night is eating Mistress-mmmm.

After a proper greeting and multiple orgasms it was off to Paddles. I am a native New Yorker, and Mistress has adopted NYC as Her home. i drive, Mistress does not.  In the year we are together, we have never driven into NYC-there is a fundamental mindset that really stops me from doing it. Its so much easier to get around on the subway and in a lot of cases-better. Plus i was admittedly really nervous-and driving in NYC usually prompts me to drop f-bombs.  This trip was no different, although Mistress sternly asked me to stop.

We arrived at Paddles shortly before 10, and it looked like the placea was in transition from some sort of seminar to the club for the evening. Mistress had a cup of coffee and a soda at the bar, while affixing my collar and leash.  A friend of Mistress, a cross-dresser named julian joined us, and we were into the evening’s fun.

Mistress decided i was to be first up for a whipping on what is “center stage” at Paddles. Its an elevated platform in the main room.  Locked in, hands over head and blindfolded i was now at Mistress’ mercy.  One of the yin/yang type aspects of our relationship is that i am not a masochist to Her sadistic streak. But i completely trust Mistress to push me to the next level (hence the trip to Paddles) and to do so with love and safety.

In what is admittedly a quirk about my submission, i do not really hit that “sub-space” that some people hit…or at least not in the way julian hit it later in the evening.  For me, i use my devotion and love for Mistress to push myself. i want to please Mistress. i want Mistress to be proud of me. i will not let Mistress down is my mantra.

So, we started. And i really do not know how long i was on the stage. i think just over an hour, but just a best guess. Mistress started with a warm up. It was flogger, followed by paddle, followed by crop.  But the evening was about Mistress and Her singletail.

Mistress and Her singletail is kind of how the whole Paddles outing came to be. One night we were talking about whippings, and Mistress said She wanted to do more whippings and Paddles was the place for it. Mistress has a four foot singletail, and i recently bought Her a three footer.  She has practiced including on me and tonight was the show night.  Plus Mistress wanted to show off for some of the “regulars” at Paddles who pissed Her off last time She was there.

i won’t lie, it fucking hurt. But Mistress was her caring self, and pushed me along the way.

After, Mistress moved to Her throne in a secondary room at Paddles, and some boot worship commenced.  As Mistress and i kissed and caressed some, julian was worshipping Mistress’ boots.

After a bit, it was julian’s turn on the stage. Since it was not my scene per-se, i won’t go into a lot of detail, but i will say julian did a nice job in taking the whipping from Mistress. It was also a chance for me to see something Mistress has pointed out to me often. i tend to have tough skin.

Mistress was no more than three strokes into julian’s whipping when there was broken skin.  this mornign, my back has some bruises and welts, but no broken skin.  Interesting.

i can honestly say, i met some interesting folks last night, had a good time with my Mistress-and most of all showed my Mistress the depth of my devotion to Her.

Thank You Mistress….we should go back.

communication is the make or break for a relationship

from anyway you look at things, my relationship with Mistress is on a really good roll right now–and its been this way for awhile-and the reason is because She and i have found a new simplified way to communicate-we do it.

of course reaching this point was not easy. in fact it came after a rocky period where we had problem communicating-so it is a fragile kind of thing. but i think now, Mistress and i have a much better understanding of how we can communicate, why we need to communicate and how good it feels to communicate.

i was reading a post of mf today which was sort of a manifesto of sorts about lifestyle relationships (as opposed to pro relationships) and it drove home many of the points that Mistress and i have come to realize….

that to make it work, we are a couple first and foremost. we have a relationship. while its based on a D/s dynamic, we are in this to support one another. and the reality is the work of supporting one another is communicating.

its kind of funny looking back, because a month or so a go we were not in such a good spot. in fact, i was pretty sure (and Mistress has confirmed this) that we were going to meet for dinner to discuss how to maintain a friendship–but no be a couple because neither of us was getting the support we needed. instead, the walls breaking communication came crumbling down-and i think Mistress and i went to another level.

now, i can hardly imagine not being able to hold and cuddle with Mistress. my caring of Mistress and Her desires is so deep, and my trust of Her is so total that since then i have even gone to “scene” events with Her. something i honestly could not have imagined doing even three months ago. because i know i am in this with Mistress and we are together in this.

its amazing what can happen when two people commit to communicate.

next stop hurdle for me is paddles. its something Mistress wants to do, and i will make it happen for Her-because i know when i ask Mistress for something the answer is yes–so there is no way i can say no to Her, and no way i would want to. Mistress is my partner on this journey-and together we are strong, and making each other stronger.