Turn About is Fair Play

New toys, new communication-and perhaps a new paradigm.

The end of a great weekend

So, as this Sunday winds down, I have to admit I can look back at the weekend and feel really good about it–and truly smile.  And two keys that are not lost on me is that: 1) most of it was spent with my Mistress whom I truly love and cherish and 2) it was spent at “open” D/s events; something a year ago I would have hyperventilated at.

It started Friday night when Mistress gave a presentation on D/s dating for DSF. It was great to be there to support Mistress, spend time with some friends and to take in the Paddles experience in a different way than the first time I went there with Mistress.

Last night Mistress and I went to what has become a really great gathering of scene people in a non-scene setting–where we can just as easily talk about hockey, strat-o-matic baseball or being whipped and beaten.

Because of work the MTA is doing on the subways system in NYC, and the really bad weather in NYC last night, Mistress and I decided to drive into the city–even being lost in Queens, and part of western Brooklyn were not so bad. We had a good time in the car chatting (even when I was going thw wrong way on a one-way street), the time went by all too fast.

And there is nothing better than waking up with my Mistress in my arms.

Not lost on me-a year later, I am at ease able to talk to people (ok, they are scene people) about being kinky–and being out and about.

I do love my Mistress.

communication is the make or break for a relationship

from anyway you look at things, my relationship with Mistress is on a really good roll right now–and its been this way for awhile-and the reason is because She and i have found a new simplified way to communicate-we do it.

of course reaching this point was not easy. in fact it came after a rocky period where we had problem communicating-so it is a fragile kind of thing. but i think now, Mistress and i have a much better understanding of how we can communicate, why we need to communicate and how good it feels to communicate.

i was reading a post of mf today which was sort of a manifesto of sorts about lifestyle relationships (as opposed to pro relationships) and it drove home many of the points that Mistress and i have come to realize….

that to make it work, we are a couple first and foremost. we have a relationship. while its based on a D/s dynamic, we are in this to support one another. and the reality is the work of supporting one another is communicating.

its kind of funny looking back, because a month or so a go we were not in such a good spot. in fact, i was pretty sure (and Mistress has confirmed this) that we were going to meet for dinner to discuss how to maintain a friendship–but no be a couple because neither of us was getting the support we needed. instead, the walls breaking communication came crumbling down-and i think Mistress and i went to another level.

now, i can hardly imagine not being able to hold and cuddle with Mistress. my caring of Mistress and Her desires is so deep, and my trust of Her is so total that since then i have even gone to “scene” events with Her. something i honestly could not have imagined doing even three months ago. because i know i am in this with Mistress and we are together in this.

its amazing what can happen when two people commit to communicate.

next stop hurdle for me is paddles. its something Mistress wants to do, and i will make it happen for Her-because i know when i ask Mistress for something the answer is yes–so there is no way i can say no to Her, and no way i would want to. Mistress is my partner on this journey-and together we are strong, and making each other stronger.