Its Supposed to be Fun

Over the weekend, Mistress and I went to a couples play-party in update NY. I won’t go into details as to where and what the group was because I want to respect the privacy of the group and the hosts of the weekend–but I did have a D/s ephiphany of sorts–its supposed to be fun.

For Whom Does the Worm Turn?

As the discussion (45 minutes give or take) meandered through topics–one that came up which is one I have often thought about–and even from time to time have asked about was why do dominant women openly seek out “worms” to serve them. It seems so counter intuitive.

The end of a great weekend

So, as this Sunday winds down, I have to admit I can look back at the weekend and feel really good about it–and truly smile.  And two keys that are not lost on me is that: 1) most of it was spent with my Mistress whom I truly love and cherish and 2) it was spent at “open” D/s events; something a year ago I would have hyperventilated at.

It started Friday night when Mistress gave a presentation on D/s dating for DSF. It was great to be there to support Mistress, spend time with some friends and to take in the Paddles experience in a different way than the first time I went there with Mistress.

Last night Mistress and I went to what has become a really great gathering of scene people in a non-scene setting–where we can just as easily talk about hockey, strat-o-matic baseball or being whipped and beaten.

Because of work the MTA is doing on the subways system in NYC, and the really bad weather in NYC last night, Mistress and I decided to drive into the city–even being lost in Queens, and part of western Brooklyn were not so bad. We had a good time in the car chatting (even when I was going thw wrong way on a one-way street), the time went by all too fast.

And there is nothing better than waking up with my Mistress in my arms.

Not lost on me-a year later, I am at ease able to talk to people (ok, they are scene people) about being kinky–and being out and about.

I do love my Mistress.

On potty training

And no, I am not going to get into a toilet fetish thing.

I am talking about manners, courtesy and what a camp counselor too many years ago elegantly put as wiping your own ass.

Last night Mistress was the guest speaker at a DSF event in NYC.  Her subject was D/s dating-something Mistress and I have been working on for the last year, and for the most part do pretty well.  The turn out at Paddles was pretty good for Mistress’ event.

(If I can take a moment, Mistress-You did such a great job presenting this subject. Clearly it is something near and dear to you. I am so proud of the way you handled the topic, worked the audience and engaged in an informative discussion).

The room was pretty packed and the crowd engaged. I was sitting off to the side with Mistress Veronica.  One of the key points Mistress made–and personally I thought it was kind of straight forward (but I am so wrong on this) is that courtesy and manners matter.

The comments this elicted from the crowd were interesting (and I am also talking about the silence that ensued before the audience was prompted).

What was interesting to me was the specifics Mistress laid out should not be a shock to anyone who has been potty trained–She is talking about holding doors open, being a good (and active listener), being chivalroous.

After the event Mistress Veronica, Mistress, another submale and I went to a local bar for a drink, and walking from Paddles to the bar we talked about this-and I guess my thought that this is basic human stuff–not D/s stuff is giving too much credit.

And, I get it–not everyone is looking for a relationship. There are peope who just want to session or play.  But the people in the room last night sounded like they were looking for a relationship, but did not sound like they knew how to sustain one.  There was a large dose of the trap Mistress likes to spring on people–the objectification of Dommes–and these guys stumbled in without being too set up.

But it seemed that the concept of just being a good partner was lacking–and that to me is amazing if your stated goal is to find a relationship, and I don’t mean a D/s relationship-I am talking about human intereraction.

When you walk into a store or a building-do you hold the door open for someone walking out, or the next person walking in? When you are out with someone (partner, friend, associate) do you actually look them in the eye and listen t them-and engage in active conversation? Do you help a female you are out with on or off wiht their jacket?

Its not rocket science here–its simply put, wiping your own ass.